We all identify certain aspects of what we think we want and need in a relationship.
Some of us say we aren't the type of people who can handle being alone, some claim to be fine with long distance relationships. But it is not until we are actually experiencing what we thought we "wanted" out of love and fairy tale notions do we actually find our own perfect mould for relationships.
Since I was a child, I learned to create my own world. I learned to become an emotionally caged person in an attempt to avoid disappointment. In doing so, the relationships I created with men were sufficient enough for me to get what I thought I needed, but also to keep the men from coming too close. I would let the guy think that he has found some "significant and special bond" with me, yet I was always holding back. Maybe in that adolescent mind, I was hoping one man would take the time to maybe want to dig through the bullshit, that he would see something that made him want to delve deeper.
Some of us say we aren't the type of people who can handle being alone, some claim to be fine with long distance relationships. But it is not until we are actually experiencing what we thought we "wanted" out of love and fairy tale notions do we actually find our own perfect mould for relationships.
Since I was a child, I learned to create my own world. I learned to become an emotionally caged person in an attempt to avoid disappointment. In doing so, the relationships I created with men were sufficient enough for me to get what I thought I needed, but also to keep the men from coming too close. I would let the guy think that he has found some "significant and special bond" with me, yet I was always holding back. Maybe in that adolescent mind, I was hoping one man would take the time to maybe want to dig through the bullshit, that he would see something that made him want to delve deeper.
I was sadly mistaken...
We build layers to hide certain aspects of ourselves which we have shied away from. We pretend that if we portray a certain persona for society to see and get to know, then maybe the person you have kept hidden and are secretly hoping to have found by that significant other, will just pop out on it's own. You see it’s that same idealistic notion we play on when we imagine these relationships which just leads us to our own personal failures.
HE WILL NOT FIND THE "YOU" WHICH YOU ARE HOPING HE WILL FIND IF YOU HAVEN'T FOUND IT FOR YOURSELF. You have to dig deep. The ideas of what kind of relationship you want and the kind of man you need will never come when you are still holding back who you are from yourself.
As woman, we are raised into a predictable culture. You are a daughter. Dedicated to her family and the responsibilities of being a young woman in a family. You then move into the stage of being a friend, a girlfriend. But you are still trying to find your identity in the phase of life you find yourself in. We become mothers, aunts’ even grandmothers, but have u found yourself as a person? As women we adapt to it all, but as we change through each phase of life, there are times when we lose ourselves.
If you don't take time to adjust and alter those adolescent notions to mature life changing decisions, you will always be the Barbie doll laying on her bed waiting for Ken doll to come and rescue her. You actually stopped playing with dolls a long time ago. Why are we still pretending? Ideas will change from that frog in the corner being your prince charming or just remaining a frog.
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| Those frogs always seem charming at one point |
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| Everybody has a dream prince |
All this is true for any aspect of our lives, not just love.
Don't fool yourself into believing that you can make yourself into something you are not. Never compromise what you feel that special kind of love should be, but allow that special kind of love to find you. At the right moment for you. BREATHE. ACCEPT. DIGEST and GROW. Grow into the skin you have been given.
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